Age Discrimination In Our Hospitals, Senior Citizens Limited Care, Based On Age?
Posted: Wednesday, March 18, 2009
by Gary W. Halsey Sr.
All Season Karaoke and D.J.
I was talking to a friend of mine at work, and her father has been pronounced terminally ill with prostate cancer according to his doctor. He keeps going into remission, but then he goes back to things getting worse. This has been going on for about the last four years. His heart is not good, he has had congestive heart failure, and is a diabetic, and to complicate matters wears a pace maker. It would seem apparent, that this unfortunate fellow, whom I will call "Mike", knows he is dying, and he is 70 years of age. He needs his prostate removed, or chemotherapy, but the doctor says that he is not strong enough to withstand this procedure. Perhaps he is right, perhaps not? Is it his age, or the amount of problems he is experiencing? I ask this, because I would really like to know what the "Medical Code of Ethics" say about this? How long will the medical professionals practice on the elderly, until they just "give up"?
We were again waiting in this little cubical, when my wife walked in, and she asked "How is she doing"? My wife really cared about my mom, and was genuinely worried about her. Someone came in and drew some blood, listened to her heart, and checked her pulse while asking her a series of routine questions. Then she asked the most peculiar thing, she asked "Would you like to be resuscitated in the unlikely event something should happen"? My mom nodded her head "Yes", and then the nurse asked her, "Would you like to be aggressively resuscitated"? My mom looked at my wife and I like to say "What does she mean"? and so we had the nurse expound on the statement. The nurse continued, "Do you have a living trust"? "No", my mom replied, "Is your son and your daughter-in-law your custodians, and do you live with them"? "Yes" my mom replied. Well you as a patient have options, you can request "Do Not Resuscitate" (DNR), or you can request to be aggressively resuscitated, do you want to be resuscitated aggressively"? "Yes" my mother said.
Well, this was around Thanksgiving time two years ago, and she ran into complications. She couldn't urinate. They gave her some meds to make her, and she did a little, but the doctors were noticing that her heart was slowly failing. The water retention was causing all of her organs to shut down, because of her water retention. My wife had told the doctor, that we wanted her (my mom) to have the surgery that he specifically said she needed on her heart, (a by-pass), and when my wife asked the doctor "Why don't you do the surgery"? he replied that "If I do the surgery, she (my mom) would have to go on Dialysis", and my wife said "So"? And the doctor says that he didn't know if she would survive being on dialysis. We already knew that she would NOT survive if we didn't do the surgery, so at least she would have a chance with the surgery, than without. Well, it ended up being about the cost, and the fact that she was 82 and the insurance. The doctor said that she had pretty much had lived her life, and he would recommend "Just making her as comfortable as we can", until she is ready to go. He said that the surgon concurred, but what about my mom? She was still alive, and of sound mind, what about her decisions?
Well, I received a call early in the morning from her doctor, telling me I needed to get down there right away, as she had two or three heart attacks during the night, where they had to resuscitate her, and they were continuing to do so, and try to keep her alive until I got there. Two days prior to that, I was not allowed in the room to see her because I had a really bad cold, but when I went to her the day she died, I rushed into the room, and the doctor said to put on a mask so I would put any germs in the room, which I did, and just as I walked in, they had told me that since I received the call, they had to resuscitate her three more times before I arrived, and she was trying to go. My sister had flown out the day before from California, and she had been with mom the day before, but we arrived there in time to see them hit her with the paddles again, because she had flat lined, and I was in tears. My mom and I was very close. The nurse looked at me, and asked, "Do you want us to keep resuscitating her, or let her go"? I looked at my sister, and said "What do you want to do sis, her very existance is in our hands", and my sister said "It's up to you, what do you want to do"? At that point, they hit her with the paddles again, and I saw her arms go up, her eyes opened, and she recoiled from the jolt. I broke down, I told the nurse to "Stop the resuscitation, I could not stand to see her go through that pain, and that she was trying to go...then I looked into my mothers eyes and I saw no life in them, the light that I had seen in those eyes for years and years and years, those laughing eyes, those loving eyes, those sad eyes....I looked at her after telling the nurse to stop and said to my mom while wiping the hair from her eyes, and I said, "Good bye beautiful, I love you"...she then flat lined...and left us. I am still morning her death...I miss her so.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Gary, can't say much, I'm living it with my mom and MIL. Great job and yes another sign of the times. The best,as always, Robert PS: 5 ++++Robert, thanks for reading the article, it was very frustrating for me to see my mom dying, and nothing was being done for it, even at the risk of her dying, at least she would have had a "Chance" if she would have survived, it was so very frustrating and that feeling of helplessness.....I really appreciate your support, and am very pleased to see your 1st comment. I will be doing my rounds...I am still fuming about the AIG thing....geesh......Your pal, and friend in pen, and fan,.......GaryGary my prayers are always with you and yours. Yes if we read more about HC you will see the inuendo about "keeping someone alive and the cost". yes our loved ones no way, theirs well another story entirely. Your invited to drop by my site and share a word. I am now more convinced then ever it was a good move since I am reaching those with the message I want to send and my reader base on SW has not diminished at all.. As always, great work and keep in touch, RobertThanks Robert, I will drop by...I have been busy writing a book believe it or not!!!! I am really excited about it but I had to gather my thoughts and take a break from it. I will drop by your site, I promise, thanks for your wonderful comments, and God speed to you and yours, I will visit your site very soon....your friend and fan .......GaryI liked your essay very muchThank you Anonymous for your comment, it is greatly appreciated. As you can see, I have some passion about this subject for very good reason. I'm not sure how this is all going to pan out for the future Public Health Care system that Obama is formulating, but I guess we'll see. Our seniors need better care, and they should have just as much right to access of exceptional care as the young ones do. This is the only country that really doesn't care about their elderly. Something has got to be done.....Again, thank you for your comments, you friend in pen.....Gary.
Hey Gary, what a heartbreaking ordeal. I can tell you that it, decisions made about healthcare, are generally based on probabilties. Or, put another way, is the proposed treatment better or worse for the patient? Will it solve one problem but create two?I had to make a tough decision about my fathers treatment. He was days away from dying and needed a procedure done. The doctor talked to me about it and told me that it would make no difference as far as the prognosis- my father was dying and nothing could stop it, but doing the procedure would be extremely uncomfortable for him. I told him to do it, thinking it might extend his life. That was years before I went to school. Had I known then what I know now, I would not have done it.But you have nothing to feel bad about, Gary, nothing at all. I have seen many such situations and my heart ached for the family. Listen to me, my friend- sometimes decisions need to be made. I am so sorry you had to go through that, and more so your mom.
Thank you Ken, that means allot comming from you and I certainly feel a little better about the decisions that I had to make....sometimes you question yourself as to did I do the right thing, or didn't I, and I think this is one of those circumstances. I just miss her. Its sometimes hard to deal with it. The gal I wrote about with her father, they went to the hospital the other day, (he had a bad day) and some of the staff there said, "Oh Mr. Anderson, your still with us"? I thought that was kind of cold, and it crushed him. But keep in mind, they didn't even expect for him to live this long, so I can imagine their surprise. But the comment made him realize his mortallity rate, even though he knows he's dying...I was a comment that didn't need to be made. I appreciate your sentiments, and I am copeing with it, but it's just hard. Oh, I wanted to ask you, have you written a poem yet? I am going to go check. Keep reading my friend, and more importantly keep writing, and I will keep reading. Look forward to your next......Your friend and fan in pen.......GaryHey Gary, I could tell you stories that would make you never darken the doors of a hospital again. Pathetically inept doctors, nurses and RTs, people barely intelligent enough to "pour pee out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel." The good news is that the personnel that actually do hands on patient care are generally the best ones because, sadly enough, the worst ones get promoted- the ones too stupid to take care of a patient but cannot be fired for legal or political reasons. Then they have the power to make stupid policies. I have many times stood in defiance of hospital policy for this reason and not ever been fired. This is one area where tv is too realistic. All the politics you see on ER or Greys Anatomy is spot on. This is why I don't watch these shows, I see it in real life everyday and it is sickening. I have started LOTS of articles about it, but, anyway...The biggest problem in healthcare is staffing shortages. Nurses are recruited from overseas and are woefullt inept, but somebody has to care for these patients and nurses especially are leaving in droves. I believe this to be from the STUPID people making STUPID and politically driven, ass-kissing policies. I tell you this, if the people making the policies had to live with them there would be qualified applicants by the THOUSANDS!!Sorry, I got carried away. You just get tired of seeing it. When someone is rude and insensitive, like with your friends dad, call them on it. Write them up and take a bulldog grip on it until you get satisfaction. Unfortunately, that is our reality.Again, I apologize. I seem to have written another article here.I have written a few poems. If and when you get the chance I would like your opinion on them.Thanks, Gary.Thank you so much, and no, its okay, I don't mind a article written as long as it makes me see why things happen the way they do, and you actually helped me to understand the "system". Next time I hear about something like that, I will advise my friend to take the bull by the horns, and complain about it, Great comment, great information that I needed, and as usual, very informative.....thank you so much for your support and your friendship. I truly appreciate it, you know I do. Your friend and fan in pen........Gary, and yes, I would love to check out your poems.....
Thank you for your article. I was searching Age discrimination in hospitals after my grandmother died recently. I believe that the nurses gave up on her because of her age and treated her horribly. To hear about your ordeal made my heart hurt, because it was as if I was living the past month over again. Everyone kept saying to us "But at her age..." Yet they knew NOTHING about my grandmother or how active she was. She wasn't the typical 88 yr old. In fact, she acted more like a teenager. This was a woman who hadn't been in the hospital since she gave birth to my mother, yet the hospital workers never gave her a chance to overcome her surgeries (which was for a broken hip), and didn't act as they would have if my grandmother had been 20 or 30 years younger. I fully believe that my grandmother would still be alive today if she would have gotten the proper care, and that is what kills me. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm truly sorry that our stories are so similar.Yes indeed Anonymous, this is a terrible thing to say the least. It has been about three years now, and I still think about how she was treated. I does not go away. I think of her everyday, and I send up balloons every work day with a saying on them like "I love you mom", or hi mom, I am still thinking of you on them....Everyday during the workweek I have done this for the past three years.....I, like you, will never forget my mother. After all, you only have one in this lifetime. I as well am so sorry for your loss, its not easy for us, and it certainly was not easy for them. May God rest their blessed souls....Thank you so much for your comment....your friend ...Gary
I am a health and social care student, researching age discrimination when i fell upon this article. It nearly had me in tears by the end of it. Its so touching, and i personally think that its disgusting that the doctors were so pessimistic. I thought the whole point of entering into this profession was to help people, vunerable people who need the help, despite the situation. People's needs should be met!!!! I am truly shocked at this :(
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