Why Do Women Ask The Things They Do? (Tis a Poem, and Will Probably Get Me In Trouble)
Posted: Friday, March 13, 2009
by Gary W. Halsey Sr.
All Season Karaoke and D.J.
Out of the gate,
right from the start,
Men are so different,
when it comes to the heart.
Why do women ask,
the things they do?
are they loaded questions?
us men haven't a clue.
We are doomed from the get go,
This my friends is true,
When they ask, "Do these pants make my butt look big?
should we be honest, tell em the truth?
Hell no! I say,
lie like the "Dickens",
or you'll get a tongue lashin',
Worse than takin' a lickin'.
Or they ask, "does this outfit make me look slim"?
May as well go right ahead, tell that lie....
cause if you don't,
you'll "verbally" die.
Be evasive, that is the plan,
approach it wisely, but like a man.
tell them the truth, its the right thing to do,
cause they really want your opinion,
and for you to be true.
They really do truly love us,
they expect the respect,
Just be honest,
thats all she expects!
Author's Comments:
"I had nothin' better to do, so I came up with this...twas fun, but I'm sure I'ma gonna git it!!!! hahahahahaha, just cowboy humor...you'd have to be there."
right from the start,
Men are so different,
when it comes to the heart.
Why do women ask,
the things they do?
are they loaded questions?
us men haven't a clue.
We are doomed from the get go,
This my friends is true,
When they ask, "Do these pants make my butt look big?
should we be honest, tell em the truth?
Hell no! I say,
lie like the "Dickens",
or you'll get a tongue lashin',
Worse than takin' a lickin'.
Or they ask, "does this outfit make me look slim"?
May as well go right ahead, tell that lie....
cause if you don't,
you'll "verbally" die.
Be evasive, that is the plan,
approach it wisely, but like a man.
tell them the truth, its the right thing to do,
cause they really want your opinion,
and for you to be true.
They really do truly love us,
they expect the respect,
Just be honest,
thats all she expects!
Author's Comments:
"I had nothin' better to do, so I came up with this...twas fun, but I'm sure I'ma gonna git it!!!! hahahahahaha, just cowboy humor...you'd have to be there."
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Cute poem. Yes we women are hard to predict.Linda DThank you so much for your comment and for reading my poem, I really appreciate your support Linda, it means allot to me....I love poetry, not only because I write it, but because I love to read it as well. I hope this comment finds you in good health, and thanks again for your comment.......and you are hard to predict!! lol.......Your friend in pen......Gary
Very cute and very true. A little white lie? How bad can that be?Good job, Gary.SandraThank you so much for commenting Sandra. Yes, I was inspired. My wife inspired me as she would sometimes ask these questions, and she has a wonderful sense of humor, and just started laughing when I read this to her....believe it or not, I just wrote this up, while on the road taking a little road trip to California awhile back.....it was a fun write.....Thanks for commenting and reading my articles......I really appreciate it.....Your pal, and friend/fan in pen........Gary
I hear ya, brother!! These women, What would we do without them? Now, what do men say about women?, "Ya can't live with 'em, and ya can't live without 'em." What do women say about men?, "Ya can't live with 'em, and ya can't shoot 'em."I think we are on the same wave-length with this poem. Have you read my poem, "Between The Lines"? Different words, same sentiment.Howdy David, yes indeed, your comment is exactly right, lol.....I will make it a point to read "Between The Lines", and it will certainly be my pleasure, I know I will enjoy it!! I love your poetry......I will ask again.....when are you going to get published. I ve see poetry out there not half as good as yours, and it's published!!! You might ask Amazon about it.....They, from what I understand, publish books....and sell them also....c'mon.....When? Thanks for your great comments, and also for reading my poetry, you know what it means to me my friend.......Your pal and fan.....in pen......Gary
So, where should I send the flowers? J/K!!Ken.....181 Tombstone Blvd.....Tombstone Arizona....hahahahhahahahaha, just make sure they ain't pink!!!! Thanks for reading my poem Ken....and yes, (insert "Amazing Grace" here). Actually, my wife loved it. She says that is just how women are.....she is funny, and has a great sense of humor...she has to have, she married me!!!! hahahahhahaa......Thanks for commenting and reading as always, I do appreciate your support and comments......your pal, fan and friend in pen......Gary
Gary, this is well written. Two things though.I do not believe men and women necessarily think differently or even that they are created differently by God's design -- at least not the God I serve. If He wanted men and women to think differently, He'd have given each of us half a brain: women the right brain and men the left. But God gave men and women the left and right brain and the ability to use both sides of the brain. May be some people are just too lazy to apply both their right and left brain. I personally think it's unhelpful for gender relations to make generalizations about all women or all men based on one's experience. As you can tell I am very passionate about this...:-)BTW: The same left/right brain argument has been used and continues to be systematically used against blacks even in institutions of higher learning. This happens even when more and more research shows that using the right or left side of the brain has nothing to do with gender or race but more with how we're socialized and how we choose to make a contribution to the continuity of our human race and to our universe.When they ask, "Do these pants make my butt look big?
should we be honest, tell em the truth?
There is huge cultural difference on this question. If a black woman asked a black man the same question, he’d better say “Hell Yes! That bootie is bobbing, sister. I can’t get it all in my hands”. We black/African women know that there is nothing the brother loves like a bootilicious woman. A big rounded bootie is the black man’s kryptonite… :-) I know... I got one and I know what it does to the brothers... and some white guys especially ONE from Bosnia (he knows who he is)..:-)Christine, you have such a wonderful way of putting things. And so true!!! I know this because I too, could be classified with the brothers!!! hahahahaha, this is so funny, and the right and left brain thing. is also so true. As you know, one has to have a wonderful sense of humor to not only write something like this, but to read it as well. I think we are all proportunate when it comes to the bootie. I have been asked these questions all of my life, from my sisters, my mom, my ex, even my wife Christine. She asked the same questions.....that my friend, is how I came up with this......I , being totally honest, have caught myself a time or two. looking sideways in a mirror as well, so it isn't exclusive of women!! hahahahaha........Thanks for the comment, that only you could make, and make me smile.....you never cease to amaze me....Thanks again, and I'm making my way to your site again.......your pal, and hopefully your friend after this....hahahahhaha, .......and fan........Gary.Gary, are you saying -- you’re like 99% of black women -- you catch yourself looking side ways in the mirror and wishing, hoping and praying you had a bigger bootie? Be careful what you ask for… LOL!No, now I didn't say that Christine!!!! hahahahahhha, I said I would catch myself looking sideways in a mirror, but it was to see if I still had a butt , especially since I posted this.....lol.......But seriously, Why am I thinking about the song "I Like Big Butts, And I Cannot Lie, Other Fellows The Can't Deny....."! Lol now I have that song stuck in my head...thanks allot.....I'm just saying, why do women ask that question, "Does this make my butt look big"?? I still don't know why......lol....am I in deeper? lol. Why am I blushing.....geesh.......and I will take your advice, and watch out what I wish for.....lol. Your pal.....and fan.....GaryGary, I think you know why women ask the question. They want you to be honest and confess, "I Like Big Butts, And I Cannot Lie”! LOL!That is the first thing that popped into my head, and okay...I confess lol!!!! This is great, and I love the comments, you are certainly a character, and what a wonderful sense of humor you have, you must keep "your man" in stitches. lol hahahaha....Your pal, and friend in pen that likes big bubbles!!.......Gary
Great poem!When answering "Do these pants make my butt look big" you don't have to lie - you can say "no, they don't". This is true.(There's no need to vocalise the next bit though, keep it in the imagination only: "It's not the pants that make your butt look big, it's the high calorie intake, natural female fat storage locations combined with a sedantry lifestyle that make it look big". I must say again - this bit must never ever be vocalised!And as others have pointed out, including Sir Mixalot, big butts ain't necessarily a bad thing anyway :) )It's the high calorie intake, natural female fat storage locations combined with a sedantry lifestyle that make it look big".I beg to differ. Not always the case. I am 5’8, approx. 130 - 135 lbs (depends on the week/month), natural athletic and I have a rock solid big butt that I've been told rivals Serena William’s (and the little African guy in that stupid movie: The God's Must Be Crazy). So yes, mine is big and round but hardly a result of high calorie intake or a sedentary lifestyle. My mama gave them rockers to me!I give it to you though-- at least you said they're aren't necessarily bad... some guys would say they're the sexiest part of a woman's body...:-) I encourage all women to love their big butts whatever state -- small, big, large, flat, soft, hard etc. They are yours and if some guy doesn't like it, he aint worth it.The "natural fat storage locations" vary in priority from person to person.... some people will store fat mostly on the their butts, some more on their thighs, some more on their belly, depending on the genes. The luckiest genes for Jeans would have to be the butt ones :)Assuming there is "natural fat" to store... :-). I think that if you can bounce a ball on it, it's more muscle than fat. Not that there is anything wrong with butt fat of course...I also heard (I think on Oprah) that people who store most fat in their butts have a lower risk of heart attack.Yep....storing it on the belly is the most dangerous place health wise. Which is unfortunately the place most men store it. I know I do >.<Christine.....bounce a ball on it? Did you do that? lol." That's funny stuff right there, I don't care who you are".....(quote from Larry the Cable Guy). I had this visual....and it was funny....and I was laughin'.....and .....well.....you would have had to of been there...hahhahahhahaa funny , funny , funny. Thanks for putting a smile on my face....Boy, did I open a can of worms or what? I love it though....Your pal..and friend in pen......and Fan.....Gary......You'll be very surprised at what a big butt can do...:-) I liked the poem, the heart behind it and I have enjoyed reading all the responses from everyone. You still OMG so cool, Gary!... :-)If I am cool, its only because I have great friends and talented people like you to keep me in check, it's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it....it's a cowboy thing..hahahahahaha, not really, its a Gary thing. You are one of my heros on here, and I love how you truly help people, and you are a true realist. That my friend, is what this ole cowboy adores about you....how you write, your sense of humor, and how much you really care about helping people....it is my honor to have you as a friend here on SearchWarp..... I am glad we read each others work....Your friend in pen, and fan.....GaryTrue that! Somebody’s gotta do the “dirty work"… :-) I was ex-communicated from my church 7 years ago because apparently what I do is ungodly and unbiblical. But walking in other people's shoes, reaching them where they are at in their lives, and helping them get back on their feet is who I am. I find that because I feel “liberated’ to be who I authentically am, others feel free to be who they authentically are with me. Being a witness to LOVE -- what love can do and what love has done is one of the most rewarding experiences life can offer. I have many of those blessed experiences everyday. If that means me being considered unclean and an outcast, so be it. I’d still be doing it even if I won a $20 million lottery.People like you are some of that blessing! I thank God for EVERYTHING!Amen!! Churches should not cast the 1st stone, or throw you out of a church just because of what you do for other people, and what you do in not "Un-Godly" Love is all we have got, and for that to flourish, that is part of God's words. I do not like judgemental churches, especially those that cast the 1st stones, don't the read what the preach. This is why, I don't go to church. My church is in my body, my heart, and my mind. My body is the temple of God, and it is my responsibility to take care of it, both mentally, ethically, and morally....."So let it be written, so let it be done"!! I amongst others, love who you are.....being yourself, and true to yourself and others makes you a God Loving person...those that cast you aside, will be judged in the end days! I love your articles, keep writing girl, and I will keep readin' Okay? Your pal, and friend in pen.....(oh, and fan)......Gary.....Hi Christine and first let me say I love the poem Gary. Christine you end your comment with "They are yours and if some guy doesn't like it, he aint worth it" I think if a guy don`t like a big butt then I think he is not normal. As my dad would say when he was alive - It was something to get a grip of.Keep wellKacyThanks Kacy, I just knew this one would get me in trouble, that's the thing about a cowboy....he stirs the pot, then he finds himself walkin' backwards, watch his.....well....his "Bootie". You guys are something else, and I am over here dyin' laughin', but how about if I say this......"You are all right"? Is that good? Will this get me outta the heat? lol.....this was a fun write, and I am so glad you enjoyed it....I sure did. Your pal , and friend in pen.....Gary.......thanks again for your great comments.....I am still laughin' hahahahhahaha I think Christine creamed me on this one.....hahahahhahaKacy, we both, I liked the poem too. Just had to make Gary sweat a wee-bit -- he’s too popular and having a great time…LOLYour Dad nailed it. Straight as they come. I see you inherited some of that…:-)Ben, Sirmixalot I think covered this topic quite well in his song....and that's my story and I'm stickin' to it......Bootie's are great, that is what turns mens head's, and Christine is right about that.....but I also agree that we all.....(insert memo to Christine here.....note: "I said WE ALL"), have what you call natural fat storage places on our body....(I read that somewhere in the "O" Magazine), and it is true...but as long as we all have it....it's according to "the plan", and I for one will stick with SirMixAlot's theory...." I like big Butts, and I cannot lie".......Thanks for commenting Ben, and I am with ya on this one.....Your friend in pen......Gary.
Great poem!You guys crack me up! (no pun intended!)Laura, hahahahahhaa now that was funny, crack me up...hahahhahaaha talk about sticking with the content, you have a way of doing that my friend, lol, hahahahhaha, I really appreciate your reading my poem, I never would have thought I would have gotten such a response, but my friends never let me down, lol...this is great, and its always great hearing from you Laura, and you know how much I enjoy reading your stuff.....stay tuned this week, as I am writing a article that involves some of my favorite authors, and YOU are one of them!!! hee..hee..hee.... Your friend and fan in pen......Gary.
Gary,Great poem and how true! Aren't you glad, though, that we are different than you? One of the many blessings in life. Of course, we could come back at you guys with a poem of our own. Maybe one is even underway...Thanks for an early morning smile.NancyNancy, I would love to read a poem back at me!!! hee.hee..hee..your fuelin' the fire gal!! hahahahaha Seriously though, I am really glad you got a kick out of this, and all the commenting...but it is true. Allot of us men hear that often....you'd be surprised. And I have always thought that no matter what, I love the way a gal was created. My Lord, that is what is makes life worth livin'!!! hee..hee..hee..I am so glad you read the poem, and that it made you smile...allot of smiles here....and I also love your work.....I found that the article about your dog, just tore me up....I was actually cryin...boy do I know that feeling.....I love to read your work...Your fan, and friend in pen.....Gary....thanks for the comment!!!
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