California Earthquake Disaster (for Me That Is).
Posted: Sunday, March 01, 2009
by Gary W. Halsey Sr.
All Season Karaoke and D.J.
Now I have to set this up, so that you know how my wife Christine is. She is terrified of earthquakes, I don't mean just scared of earthquakes, I mean terrified!! And I, well, let's just say I am a prankster. It was a dark and foggy night on Hillside Road, where our house sat on top of a mountain, and I mean on top of a mountain right inside the county limits of San Juan Bautista, between Hollister and Gilroy California. Our mountain was located right outside the town of Hollister, about 7 miles away from the beautiful town of Hollister. That is where they have the Harley Davidson Motorcycle gathering every year. Well, to get on with the story, it was a night like any other, the skunks and raccoons were scurrying about the mountain side. And our house was a very nice house, with a back patio that had stilts that supported the back patio where we could walk out, over the mountain side and look down at the beautiful countryside.
We had just finished a BBQ, and my son and his soon wife to be were living with us at the time, right after Jason, my son was finishing his tour of duty with the US Marines. And they were in the house relaxing, my wife had finished with the dishes, and that is when the phone rang. It was my brother-in-law John, the very same one that recently joined SearchWarp, and he was calling his sister from Tucson, just to find out how we were doing. Well, I looked through the pair of French doors that we had, that were made of glass, and could see my wife, sitting on the edge of the bed talking to her brother. All was well.
Knowing that my wife had this fear of earthquakes, I thought it would be a good joke to pull on her, by rattling the French doors like it was a tremor....hee...hee...hee...and since she couldn't see me through the sheer draperies that she had on the French doors, because it was dark outside, I decided to do it...hee..hee..hee....I took a hold of the door handles, and shook them just making them rattle like a earthquake had hit...and she dropped the phone yelling "Earthquake, earthquake, oh my God it's an earthquake"!!! Her arms were flying around in the air, and she was yelling for everyone to get out of the house, and I was outside rolling on the patio in laughter. I thought that this was the best gag that I had pulled in years!! My son came outside, and seen me laughing, and he started to laugh when I told him what I had done, and he went back in to tell his mom to "calm down, it was only dad rattling the door"!! He was afraid that she was going to have a heart attack, and was trying to calm her down. She glared at the French doors as I was coming in, and she was mad! Oh my God!!
This turned out to be a California Earthquake Disaster FOR ME!!! It was a bad idea, really it was, and I didn't realize how bad of an idea it was, until she asked me where my 357 magnum was so that she could point it at me, so that I could feel the fear she felt!!! I was all "I'm sorry bunny, I didn't know you were going to have such a bad reaction, and that I would never ever do it again" I mean she was really really scared! Now I felt bad. I could hear somebody....this little voice saying "Hello....Hello...what's going on? Christine, are you there"? It was John on the phone that was laying on the floor. I picked up the phone, and said "Hi John, you know, I'm in trouble". He said "Why, what did you do now"? I told him that "I scared the crap out of Christine", and explained to him how I did it, then I said "This is worth at least a four day-er of not talking to me" and he started laughing realizing that what I was saying was true, and sure enough, She didn't talk to me for four days. I will never forget that day, as I'm sure she won't, she has forgiven me, (thank God) and to this day we can all laugh about it, but at the time....it really was "A California Earthquake Disaster"!!
Knowing that my wife had this fear of earthquakes, I thought it would be a good joke to pull on her, by rattling the French doors like it was a tremor....hee...hee...hee...and since she couldn't see me through the sheer draperies that she had on the French doors, because it was dark outside, I decided to do it...hee..hee..hee....I took a hold of the door handles, and shook them just making them rattle like a earthquake had hit...and she dropped the phone yelling "Earthquake, earthquake, oh my God it's an earthquake"!!! Her arms were flying around in the air, and she was yelling for everyone to get out of the house, and I was outside rolling on the patio in laughter. I thought that this was the best gag that I had pulled in years!! My son came outside, and seen me laughing, and he started to laugh when I told him what I had done, and he went back in to tell his mom to "calm down, it was only dad rattling the door"!! He was afraid that she was going to have a heart attack, and was trying to calm her down. She glared at the French doors as I was coming in, and she was mad! Oh my God!!
This turned out to be a California Earthquake Disaster FOR ME!!! It was a bad idea, really it was, and I didn't realize how bad of an idea it was, until she asked me where my 357 magnum was so that she could point it at me, so that I could feel the fear she felt!!! I was all "I'm sorry bunny, I didn't know you were going to have such a bad reaction, and that I would never ever do it again" I mean she was really really scared! Now I felt bad. I could hear somebody....this little voice saying "Hello....Hello...what's going on? Christine, are you there"? It was John on the phone that was laying on the floor. I picked up the phone, and said "Hi John, you know, I'm in trouble". He said "Why, what did you do now"? I told him that "I scared the crap out of Christine", and explained to him how I did it, then I said "This is worth at least a four day-er of not talking to me" and he started laughing realizing that what I was saying was true, and sure enough, She didn't talk to me for four days. I will never forget that day, as I'm sure she won't, she has forgiven me, (thank God) and to this day we can all laugh about it, but at the time....it really was "A California Earthquake Disaster"!!
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Gary, I am slapping you from here! And of course laughing too :-) Great story! The longest I went without talking to Art for doing something stupid was 2 weeks.I wrote about it a while back, it's called "Tattoos, longsuffering, and the Grace of God. If you haven't read it, you might get a giggle out of it. Christine moves much quicker than me, I never thought to get the gun. HA! Great story. Thanks for sharing a bit of your life with us. I sure would like to hear her side of this story, I have a feeling you left a few details out. :-) Blessings to you and yours! TeresaTeresa, Okay....I might of left a few colorful metaphors out, and some other stuff, geesh, I just can't get anything past you!!! hahahahahha, yes indeed, I'm sure her story would be the same, yet not. Maybe a few names changed to protect the innocent..lol. I really appreciate you reading the article, just another one of those messes that I get into out of sheer mischief. hee..hee..hee....Thanks again for reading me....Your fan and friend in pen.....Gary.....God bless.
Gary! I have to agree with Christine-the gun would have looked like a good idea and I am sure once she explained to the police what had happened she would have gotten off! Thanks for the funny story!! I loved it! Really glad you guys can both laugh about it now!!!Laura, this was definately a disaster for me....Never....and I mean ever....would I ever do that again...We have been married for 27 years now, and I had to put it to the test on about our 16th year...lol....and she forgave me....what a sweetheart, she told me not to forget to tell everybody that my son thought she was going to have a heart attack...lol....she wanted to make sure I put that in...ahhahhahahha its funny now, but I kept a low profile for awhile back then....Thanks for reading, and commenting....your fan, and friend in pen.....Gary......"Go Angels".
Hi Gary.Wicked sense of humor. I can laugh at it and still feel for Christine. In general, I'm not much for practical jokes myself. Mostly, I think men find them way more funny than women do.As a child though, it was a different matter. My sister was afraid of the "boogeyman" and I could scare the pants off of her just by doing a startled double take at something behind her. Bad me!Ah well, it was a really fun read and thanks for sharing!My best to you,DianneWell hellos Dianne, what a pleasant surprise to have you read this article, that was a few moons ago, now I am older and wiser, lol, NOT.....hahahaha, it was a fun thing to write about, and extremely true!! But you are right, men find these things allot funnier than women do!!! Wonder why that is..? I am making my review rounds yesterday and today...actually this evening....and can't wait to read your latest, thanks so much for commenting, always a pleasure to hear from you...Your fan, and friend in pen......Gary.
Wow, Gary, what a funny, I (ahem) mean tragic and cruel, but deliciously so!! It sounds like something I woud do, actually!I bet you would do something like that Ken!! You know, that kind of comedy is a guy thing. Someone wrote to me, and said that she figured that practical jokes are funnier to a man, that to a woman...I think she is right. I can be rolling on the floor at something that I saw on TV, and my wife just sits there with this look of not understanding why I am laughing so hard. Part of the reason I think things are so funny is the fact that she doesn't, for some reason, that cracks me up. I think gals like Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, and female comedians are halarious...So we do have a few gals out there that have a great sense of humor. I can read a joke, and laugh hysterically, and my wife can read the same exact joke, and just give me this blank look....hahahaahhahaha, funny stuff right there...!!!! Thanks for commenting and reading my article it is much appreciated....your friend in pen....Gary.
You're a brave, but somewhat stupid man, Gary. lol Don't you realize that it is your wife who feeds you? Do you really want to play these kind of pranks on the one who prepares your food?Actually, I loved this story and I'm sure your wife has forgiven you by now.David, I recognize that it was a stupid move after the fact, but I also want you to realize that I had alread eaten that night, and you never want to make the cook mad prior to the meal, so I waited until after the meal. I wasn't born yesterday...hee..hee..hee...she gets a kick out of my lil pranks....and I love her for it, she has gotten me a couple of times, so turnaround is fair play...and she has gotten me good.....lol....I really appreciate you commenting on my work, as I am on my way to read a few of yours as well, not because I feel obligated to, but I truly love your work.....I will see you there my friend!!!! Your fan and friend in pen.....Gary.
hi gary,isn't it ironic how something that appears so funny to us, may cause another's rage?my kids were always good for things like that.and we all know you are a kid at heart :)thanks fior sharing,my best regards,sueAWWWW Thanks Sue, I appreciate your comments on this article, I have been preparing for a "gig" tomorrow, and one in another week, so I have been burning music for the two parties I am dj'ing at and haven't had the time to write like I would like to. I appreciate your comments hon, and am glad you liked the article....you a dear for reading and commenting on it, and what you say is true.....Thanks again for commenting......your pal, and friend in pen, Gary
This is one of those situations where my analytical side wants to dissect, and ask questions, so here goes.You, Gary, created a moment in your families life that will be remembered forever, and correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what we are suppose to do? Isn't it healthy for a family to laugh at themselves? You created a fun and memorable moment, one that will bring your kids to smile years after you and your wife pass on. Good for you AND your family. There are far too many families with horror stories these days.Your wife didn't find it too funny because of her past experiences with earthquakes, and the fear she has about them - and it leaves me to have SOME sympathy for her. However, the thing that bothers me the most about these types of things is how the punishment never seems to fit the crime?You scared her and she panicked, but not because of what you did so much, but because she apparently jumps to conclusions too quickly. There was no earthquake! The only thing shaking were the doors. I take it the pictures upon the walls and tables were still. I assume the place she was sitting while talking on the phone was solid and unwavering, so why did she not talk to you for 4 days when it had more to do with her overreacting than your door shaking? D*mn, if she were my wife and was upset just because of her overreaction, I know I would have been twice as upset if she hadn't talked to me for 4 days. This is not to suggest you reacted right or wrong, I'm just saying how I would have reacted after even 2 days of the "cold shoulder." A punishment that doesn't equal the "crime" of humor. 4 precious days you and your family lost out on that you can never get back!I had a mother who was so terrified of thunder and lightning, that she would always hide in the closet. Now think for a moment about just how silly that is. Hiding from thunder and lightning in a closet."Hey, good call Mom. I'm sure you won't get hit in there! I bet the lightning will knock just the house down, and leave the whole closet standing for ya. Is there any chance you can fit at least one more person in there Mom?"And of course, because of our playful banter didn't sit well with her, my brothers and I would get the look of scorn when the storm subsided. FOR DAYS!What is it about woman that they allow themselves to be consumed by such obsessive behaviors and reactions, yet in the end we men are the son-of-a-b*tch*'s when it's over.Would it be so hard for a woman to think to herself later, "Gee, I guess I must have looked a little silly there," and to take extra measures in the future to prevent such panic again?I love women, but boy how uptight and humorless they can be sometimes.Oh boy, I hope not one woman stopped to read this, or I may end up serving a 4 day suspension here on SearchWarp.
If so, I'll see you guys on Saturday! Bye!KennyKenny
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